Craig Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Not a genuine post sale, but I just had to share this. This advert was placed on my works intranet exchange & mart section. It's pure genius. Do you want to drive a real head turner? Do you want to beat the other cars away at the lights? Do you want to achieve fuel consumption of 17 mpg or worse? When I say head turner I mean head dropper, it makes my head drop when I fill it up (twice a week) or get it serviced (It usually costs about £1,000). It is a 4 door car, but as the drive shaft runs through the inside of the car you can only really take two very small people in the back. You can’t really take any body too large in the front either, my 18 stone aunty wore out a £250 Bridgestone tyre against the front wheel arch and that was taking her to church. It’s great for short Journeys like that, longer journeys though give you the same end effect that mixing cement and labouring for two Brickies building a 2nd storey blind wall. I dropped to my knees in Nottingham after driving down from Glasgow last weekend, not to kiss the ground but just a simple case of not being able to stand up after folding and unfolding myself up between most of the petrol stations between Glasgow and Nottingham. The dashboard is a joy to behold, it has an oil pressure gauge which basically reads on and off, the fancy LED speedometer used to read in MPH but I tried to set the clock to British Summertime so now it reads in Kilometres. All the warning lights are functioning, they are on all the time. Driving it on a dark night is not advisable, the automatic electronic sensors that control the headlight beam serve only to illuminate what is directly to your left, handy if you want to look inside peoples cars as you overtake and have no concern about the direction you are taking yourself. Thee interior is nice, well, it was nice until about three weeks ago when I was driving home after work and an Innocent Orange and Mango Smoothie exploded in the back seat. The back sometimes heats up. (I ducked when it happened, I was driving through Hyson Green at the time). Funny bullets here I thought, the one’s in Glasgow break the glass on the way in. Unfortunately the Fruity Magic Tree car freshener does little to hide the Fruity/Mouldy aroma left. You will get a free t-shirt that I used to mop up the worst of it which is now stuck to the rear carpet. The alloy wheels match the smart gun metal finish on the car, the colour of the alloy wheels can be viewed by looking closely at most kerbs at our Newstead site, where I scrape them regularly. The boot is surprisingly spacious, and will take a set of Golf Clubs although I had to slightly bend my driver to get them in. You do have to remove the golf clubs one by one. It is great in the snow too. If you like doing doughnuts or wheelspins. Goodness knows why Mazda put a ‘ski’ hatch in the boot so you can carry skis. How you would change gear is a mystery to me as is how on earth you would get to the nursery slopes at Matterhorn in the first place. Although it is a very fast motor, it’s not much use as a getaway car as you have to let it warm up before you drive it, which is not great if you are in a hurry. You need to let it cool down before you turn it off too. The ferry staff on the Uig to Tarbert crossing don’t understand these things but as you can hardly see their hi-viz vests through the cloud of petrol fumes as they croak “Turn off your engine!!†It comes with a full Mazda service history, which will allow you to budget for the astronomic services, the last of which cost far more than the delightful webuyanycar.con offered me to take the car off my hands. It has a Rotary engine which, the dealer that I bought it off almost two years ago told me had been replaced at 30,000 miles, this is the one thing that hasn’t made it into the detailed full dealer service history. It’s now done 60,000 miles so I am just waiting for another explosion. You need to buy oil from Mazda at Mazda prices as not only does it burn petrol in the engine it burns Oil too. A couple of litres for every 500 miles or so. It has to be semi mineral motor oil or extra virgin organic olive oil which ever is the most expensive. Get caught putting the cheaper Halfords stuff in you invalidate any warranty. Fortunately though, this car comes with no warranty. There’s a bit of rust on the boot, the previous owner hid this with a sticker, I mention it only because the rust has outgrown the sticker and I can’t find a big enough sticker for the job. You don’t want the battery going flat either. It causes the engine to flood, I know how to sort this now though, it’s fairly straight forward. You remove the back seat, to allow you to access the electrical connection to the fuel pump, connect it up to a heavy duty booster set to max, disconnect the pump and crank the engine until you hear a bit of compression or smell burning, while cranking reconnect the fuel pump. After a few hours, a couple of loud backfires, the car should spark back into life. Do this in a well ventilated place, I nearly killed the dog at Christmas time doing this in the shed. Honestly it is fast and great fun to drive and whoever does take it off my hands can look forward to hours of trouble free motoring. Go on, offers around £3,000. You’ll have to give me a couple a couple of weeks to get the £3,000 together for you though as the car is getting serviced today. It was actually serviced and MOT’d yesterday, at a cost of £900. I didn’t get to pick it up though as it didn’t start. They’ve given me courtesy car and say it should be OK by 5.30 pm tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+RonC Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Well worth a read!! V Funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red dwalf Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 i`ve bought worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BAZ Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 He ain't no salesman, but he's honest. I suspect he has one of the Mazda's that had the Wankel rotary engine in them, I would had thought that would have been collectable. Any of you Bikers remember the Van Veen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bryndalf Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 Mazda Rx8 - and everything he says is true of all of them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daz Type-R Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 (edited) Mazda Rx8 - and everything he says is true of all of them Is the price a bit cheap for an RX8, I thought he was trying to off an RX-7? Saying that, the price he "wants" could be classed as too much!!! Fun article though. Edited April 12, 2012 by Daz type-r Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Excellent read, I really enjoyed it. I had a RX7 years ago that had one of those Wankel engines, it was actually a very reliable car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig Posted April 13, 2012 Author Share Posted April 13, 2012 Is the price a bit cheap for an RX8, I thought he was trying to off an RX-7? Saying that, the price he "wants" could be classed as too much!!! Fun article though. Read the price bit again... He's paying YOU to take it... It's that bad! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 LOL what a classic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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